Why Prepare for a Zombie Apocalypse?

Some people ask me why I prepare for a zombie apocalypse. Logically they seem right. What are the odds that a zombie apocalypse really will happen? And as a man who is not entirely insane, I will concede that there isn’t a very big chance at all.
However, preparing for a zombie apocalypse means that you are ready for the total package.

ZOMG a Zombie!!

Food, Water and Essentials
You will have prepared the most basic requirements for surviving during any disaster. Food, water, lamp, knife, etc. You will be good to go.

Chemical and Biological Threats
Say you invested in protecting yourself from a possible “zombie virus.” As a result, you are now protected from most virus attacks, be it an epidemic, or a deliberate attack.

Refuge in Water
According to intel, zombies don’t do well in water. Apparently they cannot swim. So why not invest in an inflatable boat? You could tie it to something with some 550 cord and sleep the night in the middle of a deep river (tying your boat to say a bridge pillar) would give you a good night’s sleep that your land bound counterparts would have no chance enjoying. Incidentally, a rubber boat might come in handy during a flood.

Seeking Shelter on the Roof
You might design your emergency kit around the roof of a building you are normally in or near. Say your apartment building or your office building. You are not only prepared to defend yourself in a commanding position during a zombie onslaught, but you are also prepared to deal with a Tsunami if you happen to live in an urban environment.

Staying Mobile

According to intel, zombies move fairly slowly, but the mass of their attacks make escape very difficult. So staying mobile is one consideration. During any emergency however, cars will not be an option. Every bit of highway will be clogged and the place will turn into a parking lot. I know it, you know it. So what other options are there? Everything you need to survive will have to fit on your back and you will have to be fit enough to ruck march it over long distances. Getting into this sort of shape will give you the ability to flee town faster and more effectively than those who have decided to rely on cars, and evacuations can happen for any number of reasons!


If you’re thinking of surviving a zombie apocalypse unarmed, your odds are not very good. Being armed well enough for a zombie apocalypse, means that you’re probably armed well enough to deal with most human threats as well. Your logistics will also be practical. You’ll pack one weapon and lots of ammunition for it.

So before you laugh at your friends who prepare for a zombie apocalypse, remember that they are prepared virtually for any sort of disaster and you’re not. If the feces hits the budget cooling system, the joke is on you.


About Ryoga-kun

Traveling gunfighter. Master of various things.
This entry was posted in Opinion Piece and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Why Prepare for a Zombie Apocalypse?

  1. kirstyn says:

    ❤ this best survival guide ever !

  2. Pingback: Zombie attack: Leicester council forced to confess preparations are inadequate

  3. Bob Rossiter says:

    Zombies, indeed, cannot swim, however they need not breath either. The river idea is very good, but it must be deep enough that the zombies cannot reach up from the bottom and eat you up.

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